looking out

there was a girl

who put on a smile

as quickly as

it faded away

she was never really like that

it all just happened

way too fast

no one saw it coming

even i thought

she was happy

and one day

we were on the bus

her sitting next to the window

me by her side

we talked and talked

about things that

i couldn't recall

but it sure was something

that made her chuckle a little

but the silence

was still stronger than ever

i was eating

something like a 

Brazilian chicken sandwich

it was delicious

and maybe it was why

i didn't take much notice

of her words and actions

to make me see

that what she might be

showing me might not

but real

when i got of the bus

i saw her

sitting alone

emptiness surrounded her

as if it was soon to engulf

her emotions and soul

and what's left of her

is just a remembrance

of her looking out of the window

missing this boy

who used to mean the

world to her

and still did

and it broke my heart

mainly because i hated to see

her that way

lost and alone

but also because

she was so attached

to this boy

who could let go

of her so easily

and it made me ponder about

me as well

was i just like her

having a hard time inside

and difficulty forcing laughter

and faking smiles

and the funny thing is

4 months ago

i was in pieces i couldn't cope

with the fast pace of life

and handling my emotions

and work was even more of a challenge

but right now

i can say that i could

barely even remember

how it felt like to

lose everything you love

and time doesn't even wait for you

it seemed so foreign

i wasn't out of love

but love was out of me

and that was how i felt

i can't remember how it feels

to be in love

with someone or anyone

that actually does know my existence

and feels the same way

and being broken

seems like more of a

typical routine

than an emotion now

and i knew that

there was nothing i could do

to make her feel better

or make her realize that he wasn't

meant to be part

of her future

but sometimes

it is really that hard

when you expected so much more

from someone because

you were willing to give

that much to them

but he wasn't going to do that

was he?

and here everyone is

waiting for that someone

that someone to be part of our future

and the funny thing is

things have a way

of getting better when

you stop caring and worrying

about things that

mean a lot to you

and when you don't care

things get better

but it comes to a point

where you no longer

care about anything anymore

and you just want to

get over and done with

with this life

but does it make any sense?